But there are times that, as a human being, I just need some time alone. And I don't mean I need to get in the car and go to the store - I mean home, in your house, with no other person.
Maybe it's just me, I don't know. But there is something internally balancing about being able to just spend some time each day at home, alone, not dealing with anyone else's shit. Before we moved, I had an hour every morning to myself when my wife went to work and the kids went to daycare. It was glorious. Some days I'd do laundry, somedays I'd do the dishes... it doesn't matter what I do during the time alone - the point was just to be able to do it without worrying about anyone else for like 60 minutes.
It was fucking glorious.
But... now I commute for two fucking hours every day and that's about the closest I get to alone time.
Going out and "DOING" something isn't the same. If I want - I can go to the range and spend some time shooting (I was in the army for a while - I find it relaxing.), I can go walk around Wal*Mart, I can go places... but that's not the point. I am alone, as I said, every day in my car for two hours... I can't read my book sitting in my favorite chair in my car. I can't take a shower, shave, brush my teeth, hang out in my bedroom completely nude if I want IN MY CAR. Or at Wal*Mart... well, I guess I COULD at Wal*Mart and only run a slight risk of imprisonment...
If I take a day off of work to stay home - I will have the kids. My mother in law is our daycare and she's... Well, she's a bit of a monster and talking to her makes me want to hurt things. So, trying to explain to her that "Yes, I am taking the day off, but I'd still like you to watch the kids" is not happening. She's the Queen Mother of passive aggressive bullshit - but that's a story for a different entry.
Seriously... one of the best things about alone time - is that if I needed to utilize nature's pressure release valve - I can, without fear of the kids walking in or without having to do it in my allotted ten minute shower time in the morning. There is something really nice about rubbing one out from time to time without having to worry about the door opening up and your children walking in asking "What are you doing, daddy?" - because that kills the mood pretty fucking quick.
When you're married and your kids are under 10... and you both work... and you commute two hours every day... sometimes the ole "moods" don't always match up. After a week or two of this, it adds to the stress of life. And it makes you - well, ME - a royal asshole. I was far less stressed when I had alone time and could deal with this occasional stress... NOW... I can still rub one out - but I have to be a fucking ninja about it and try to get it done in about a minute or less... and that's not good for anyone.
So - there is my Labor Day rant... and why is it today? Because today, my wife is at work and I am home with the kids... for the third day in a row. And my evil mother in law - god bless her - took my kids to the pool with their cousins today for two hole hours...
TWO HOURS OF GLORIOUS TIME TO MYSELF!!!!
And I fucking did laundry.
Son of a bitch.
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