17 January, 2019

Discovering Porn...

Fun story - I know a "coed" in THIS one
We went skinny-dipping in Switzerland in 1996
While growing up, my dad had a serious collection of Playboy magazines in the house. I have no doubt that my dad did not, in fact, read it for the articles.

He had a pretty nice collection of nude women stretching from the mid-80s through the mid to late 90s. And through my adolescence I ruined at least one or two of those magazines with my... uh... attention. We'll go with that. Yep. Attention.

Younger than that, however, I remember being at my friend's house and sneaking in and taking his dad's hidden copy or two of Hustler and reading the letters in it. Then running off to the bathroom to measure who had the biggest erection. Not together... one at a time with a ruler. Like civilized kids in rural America. These are my first memories of sex and nudity.

Then came the internet.

Jesus Christ...

15 January, 2019

Dr. Bourbon's Tips For Getting Laid...

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from Twitter User @yodelingsnake

He asks:

Dear Doctor Bourbon,

I struggle with interpreting cues on when it's appropriate to "make the move" on my wife, because I'm socially inept. I'm good at sex! But I don't always get the timing right... Do you have any advice?

Signed,
@YodelingSnake

Dear Mr. Snake,

11 January, 2019

Dr. Bourbon and The Cleaning Lady

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from the ANONYMOUS "Mommy Issues" via a Twitter DM.

Dear esteemed Dr Bourbon,

I've got mommy issues. I'm pushing 40 and my mother won't let me be a goddamned adult. She goes out of her way to make excuses to come into my house and clean it.
Now, before you go getting all "ooh free cleaning services" know this: my house is clean. It's just not clean ENOUGH. My floors can be mopped, shelves dusted and beds made and she will RE CLEAN over me. I've told her to stop.
My husband has told her to stop. Our small children have told her to stop. But SHE. NEVER. STOPS.

Help a girl out, Dr. B.

love and kisses
"Mommy Issues"


Dear "Mommy Issues,"

10 January, 2019

Triathlon Training - A Guest Post by Matt Herald

Matt Harold is our guest author today.

He is sharing his basics on training to run a triathlon - something I will most likely never do.
You can find Matt on Twitter at @MattHerald

Self described as:

Beer drinker, Bourbon lover, Geocacher, Runner, Triathlete, Father of 3, Husband of 1, Keeper of ALL!



Triathlon Training
A Guest Post by Matt Herald


  Most people think of triathlon and instantly count themselves out.  Don’t worry, I used to do it, too.  But now, I am a triathlete.  Not only do I do triathlons, but I train so that I can be better at them.  And the craziest thing of all is that I enjoy it!  I enjoy the races, the competition, the mental preparation, the physical strain, and the most important part: crossing the finish line!  So what’s it take to train for a triathlon?  Well, it may not be as much as you think.  So here’s a peak into my triathlon training.

09 January, 2019

Dr. Bourbon On Hookers and Bourbon

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from "Brian" via Twitter. 
Brian writes:

Dear Doctor B,
I enjoy coffee, and sex is pretty great, but I haven't found a bourbon I like yet. What do you recommend I try first?

-Brian (@briancebuhl)


Dear Brian,

Bourbon is best enjoyed naked. Just throwing that out there before we get started...

It's the nectar of the gods. Enjoyed by kings and paupers alike. Don't listen to the Jack Sparrow wannabes out there that are "Oh, Rum is sooo good." Those assholes don't know what's good for them... That's why they all have scurvy and STDs.

Bourbon on the other hand...

Bourbon is like prostitution. You get what you pay for. Do you want to have a good night, but feel rather awful and potentially dirty in the morning? Then $10 will do it for ya!

08 January, 2019

Dr. Bourbon And The Tale of The Shorn Scrotum

Today we open a new chapter - Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon.

Our first question comes from "Sir Raven" via Twitter. 
Sir Raven writes:

Dear Dr BS
Every time I shave completely bare I think, "This feel awesome! Why don't I do this more often?"
Then Day 2 rolls around and it's a bumpy, rashy mess of regrowth down there. Seriously I get like one day of smooth fun and then a week of itching and pimply ingrown hairs.

Any advice? 😫😫😫
Raven (@QuothSirRaven)



Raven,

Thanks for reaching out.

Boy do I know what you mean. Your question reminds me of a time back in the army - sometime in 2003 - when I was in the desert and sweating my balls off.

I thought to myself: "Man, this manly mane of hair surrounding my junk is hot and sweaty... and smells like balls. I bet if I shaved it all off, it would be a cool, refreshing change of scenery for a while."

07 January, 2019

Here Kitty Kitty - A Guest Post by Anna O'Keefe

Today's guest post is Anna O'Keefe

You can follow her on Twitter here: @ReneeHawk1956

"The Trouble With Mountain Faeries" is a collection of her words in short story format that has been published in an anthology called "Intersections" by the Frederick Writers Salon and can be purchased through Amazon.

She also writes blog posts for the online publication, Luna Station. A female centric sifi, fantasy, alternative worlds magazine.

Her current WIP is a novel about a town where no one dies they just disappear.

From the author:
"I am a girl who loves words. I love reading them and I love writing them. I truly get excited when I string a bunch of words together that make sense enough to tell a story."


Here Kitty Kitty
One woman's life long love of the classic 1972 XK-E Jaguar
A Guest Post by Anna O'Keefe




I paused to look through the floor to ceiling glass wall, at the entrance to the dealership. Daring a glance back at the turntable that slowly revolved with the most incredible thing I had ever seen. So red and shiny it nearly took my breath away. With that deep black convertible top made this car perfect and I shivered to be so close. Sleek, sophisticated, and way beyond me in every aspect. The 1972 XK-E Jaguar had captured my heart. I would have said my Kitty was sexy if I had known what sexy was at the time. I had talked about nothing else for months.

My friends had long since stopped trying to  understand this obsession. Sure, being obsessed about boys, clothes, and how much we weighed but being over the edge about a car was just crazy. I disregarded their protests. Even having no money and not knowing how to drive were just small matters and easily brushed aside. More than getting my ears pierced, more than a push up bra,
more than red nail polish, even more being allowed out past 10 pm. I simply longed for the
XK-E, my Kitty.

I sighed. Here I was barely 16 and extremely naive even in a world without cell phones and internet and head over heels in love. I was just moments away from realizing my deepest
desire. I opened the double doors and strolled in, book bag hiked on my shoulder, full of all the
courage I didn't think I possessed.

Stopping at the first occupied desk and in my practiced adult voice, I pointed, “I want to speak to someone about that XK-E.”

The man at the desk looked up from his racing form and peered over the top rim of his eye glasses. An expression wavering between irritation and boredom.

“What?”

It's my first day