Trouble With The Tradesman's Entrance

Saturday night found Lady Bourbon and me SANS CHILDREN!!

We sat and debated what to do for some time. We could go see Avengers and sit there for three hours - not a bad idea. We could go out to eat, have some drinks, and pretend to be regular adults for a while - also not a bad idea. OR we could get naked, watch some porn, and get a little freaky on the living room floor before going out for drinks and pretending we're adults... WINNER!!!!

Once the kids were safely gone and out of the house I retired to the shower, cleaned myself all over, and put on my sexy underwear - a black lace thing that makes my junk look HUGE... and my favorite skirt.

Then we moved some furniture, poured some drinks, and set back to get things going.

I'd already been sporting a pretty serious hard-on at the thought of not having kids... but now, as Lady Bourbon applied a nice, dark application of eyeliner on me, I was at "already ready to burst" levels. Me wearing eyeliner and black, lace panties has a rather curious effect on Lady Bourbon - and that is she gets SUPER wet. Like... Aquaman levels of wet.

And that shit is hot as FUCK.

As the show started we sat there, sipping or drinks and just "getting in the mood" as it were. Before long, her hand was slowly stroking me through the soft fabric of my skirt and silk... This had 2 results - 1: SO hot. 2: My panties no longer fit.... so they had to go.

She continued.

She wrapped my cock in the fabric of the skirt - it's soft, t-shirt material - and continued to gently stroke me up and down. Then I started rubbing her through her panties and stroking her nipples gently with my tongue from time to time. Our eyes both darting back and forth to the very lewd, very sexual animated porn on our television...

Lady Bourbon stood up, removed her skirt and panties, and returned to the couch next to me. She began rubbing her clit with her vibrator while still stroking me softly. It was amazing. After several minutes of this we moved to the floor, she flipped my loose skirt up, and climbed on top of me. She rode me and used her magic wand until she trembled with her first orgasm... I could feel her dripping down my balls when she finished. Which just made me want more...

There was head. There was rubbing, licking and touching... all the while moans of pleasure emanated from the television behind us.

Lady Bourbon took out the new toy... the blue, strapless-strap-on. She turned it on and a small gasp escaped her lips as the large, bulbous end disappeared between her legs. She stood, gloriously naked in front of me with a semi-realistic, vibrating cock... and I took her into my mouth and played with her lower half until she orgasmed for a second time.

Then it was my turn... and this is also where things got a little... hinky? Not kinky... hinky.

Turning me over, Lady Bourbon got behind me. Large quantities of lube were used... and her first attempt at "being on top."

Now, not being a life-long penis haver... the mechanics of what came next were a little awkward. Alignment, angle, positioning... She's not used to being an "outie" as it were. So there were some difficulties.

Not to mention the size of the thing - I was having some difficulties.

We decided to downsize things and go for Pinkie - the old standby toy... and after a few attempts and repositioning... she succeeded.

Let me just say this... There is something VERY intimate about this. About having your wife, your best friend, your lover, your everything... penetrate you and be in charge. There is something so... I'm not sure WHAT the word is exactly... but it was awesome. There is a difference in Fucking someone and letting someone FUCK you.... and that's what she did. It was awkward being everyone's first time and all - but oh so very sexy.

When that was done, she went down on me... then she rode me again... and in the end I came so hard I didn't want to move.

We kissed. We held each other.... we got a fucking towel and cleaned up the mess and we laughed.

After - we went to the bar and drank bourbon and Long Islands. We ate wings and chips and salsa. We went home and watched a shitty movie... and then we both slept with reckless abandon.

I love her. I love that she loves me. I love that we can try new things without fear or shame. I love that she gets turned on by me after 10 years, 2 kids, and a whole lot of life's bullshit. I love that she'll go out of her comfort zone to try new things with. I love that when she gets off, she gushes... I love that she loves making eye-contact when she gets and gives head. I love my best friend... and I love the way she loves me back.

Mark and Emily A @BourbonSex Erotic Short Story

A @BourbonSex Erotic Short Story: Mark and Emily

     The night was finally here. It's something that he'd thought about often. It excited him. It made him anxious. It made him feel very sexy.
     He didn't go all out on his first time. A simple outfit of blouse and skirt with makeup and a pair of his wife's panties.
     The door opened and Mark stepped out into the light. His eyes, rimmed in dark eye-liner, shone in the soft light of the room. Gentle hints of rouge marked his cheeks and his lips were a soft, glossy mauve color. He worked his face into a smile. His hair was done up in a loose configuration of spikes, held out with gel, and his stubble was short and manicured against his chin. He was nervous, but took a deep breath and relaxed. The silk fabric of the shirt he wore felt good against his skin and the warm air circulating and lifting under the black skirt he wore felt good against his legs. His cock was gently stuffed into a pair of silk panties that hugged him everywhere.

     And he loved it.

Dr. Bourbon - How Stella Got Her Groove Back...

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from "Stella"

She asks:

Dear Doctor Bourbon,

How do I get my libido back? The meds I've been on for the last 10 years have ruined it completely.

Yours truly,
Stella

Rope Bondage - A Guest Post by BlueSubmission

Today is another first for me - rope bondage. I, until today, knew NOTHING about this. I've seen it. Never really given it much attention. But BlueSubmission (Twitter: @bluesubmission) has written up a very nice, informative piece - photos included - about it.

Blue's website is here: https://bluesubmission.wordpress.com/

And can be found on twitter here: https://twitter.com/bluesubmission

Rope Bondage

A Guest Post by BlueSubmission

Disclaimer: If you are thinking about trying rope bondage, do plenty of research, seek out the rope community where you live for workshops and advice, and always practice safely. Rope bondage is fun and sexy, but it can also be very dangerous.

....Even fatal.

A day in the life of a 24/7 D/s couple - A Guest Post by Nikki

Today's guest post is something I know literally NOTHING about - so I am very excited for it.

Our guest poster is Nikki (@loveisafetish on Twitter)

Nikki is a sub, a parent and an artist. She loves her family, music, sex and the color pink.

A day in the life of a 24/7 D/s couple

A Guest Post by Nikki 

It is five o'clock in the morning and I wake up gagged and restrained to the bed, ready to drag my heavy chains to the kitchen to start breakfast for my Dom, like any good sub does.

Being honest to yourself.

So... honesty. That's a big thing. But I'm not hear to talk about going to confession or anything like that. I'm here to talk about being honest to yourself. Because, let's face it - that shit is sometimes NOT an easy thing to do.

I started my @BourbonSex account as a way to express the thoughts and desires I have in a somewhat public forum as a way to stop lying to myself.

Let's rewind a bit...

Ever since I was a kid - I've had a thing for sexy things. Maybe I walked in on my parents one too many times, or found my dad's Playboy collection at too early of an age -  don't know. Maybe it was being seduced at 15 by a 22 year old and, I guess technically, being raped by her. Who knows... Point is - It is a part of me.

My family is NOT like me. They talk and joke about sex, but it's more of defense mechanism/macho bravado - much like the guys I all knew in the army. And that's not healthy.

Why I don't like "Porn"

Okay - disclaimer - I love porn. I love watching naked people fuck. That shit is hot as Hell. But........

What I hate is the Porn industry and the fucking ridiculousness of porno.

Why must we make silly porn with terrible plots and stories?

"Hi, I'm here to... clean some pipe."
"Oh, my. Well, let me just bend over, in the nude, and pick up this giant dildo I dropped."
"Mind if I stick it in your butt?"
"Oh by all means! Let me call my cousin so she can come lick your balls while you do it."

I mean... COME ON.

Why can't we just make a decent movie with realistic fucking? If I'm ever in a situation where I was with someone who started talking to me the way do in a porn... I'd probably just laugh at them and the sex would be over. Thankfully, I can hit mute if/when I ever need to watch stuff. Gifs... gifs are where it's at for me in the porn industry. No sound. Short, repeating clips of people having some crazy-good sex.

I think this is why I like Hentai... And no, not the incest/rape hentai (well, MOSTLY not those)... but the stuff like Fuzzy Lips or Kanojo x Kanojo x Kanojo, Bible Black, Giant tentacle monster sex god from outer space. You know, people doing stuff and then having crazy sex with WAY too many bodily fluids. But I like it.

And there's no "Oh yeah, fuck my asshole, daddy"... that's just a mood killer for me. And there's no completely shaved dude who goes to the gym looking all stoic and shit going "yeah... yeah... I'm gonna fuck that ass. Yeah..." - WHO DOES THIS IN REAL LIFE?!?!?

And to make it worse - the unrealistic plastic surgery plaguing porn stars is distracting. I mean... like in a big way. You were clearly not born a 49DD... those look like they're about to pop. And why is every man is shaved from the neck down?? I'm no fan of chest hair, and I understand that it makes your junk look bigger... but I'm having trouble suspending my disbelief here, man.

The icing on the cake is the moaning and sound effects the women make... Are you having sex or are you laying down backup tracks for some dubstep?!?

I get it... this stuff is supposed to be far-fetched and whatnot, but I just can't do it. I can watch gifs and muted clips... but Pornos are, in my opinion, a joke.

You want hot sex? Make it look real. Find real people who look NORMAL. Sex isn't a 90 minute run for most people... shit, for most 20 minutes is considered too long.

So... sorry, Porn industry... I am not a fan. I'll stick with Erotica, Hentai, and my wife's underwear drawer.

PEACE OUT!

The Nap - A @BourbonSex Erotic Short Story

The Nap

A @BourbonSex original Erotic Short Story

The window stood open and the gentle scent of summer floated in as they lounged lazily in the living room. Stirring from her rest, she looked on and watched his chest rise and fall on the opposite end of the couch. He slept peacefully, for once, and she found her eyes drinking him in. She liked watching him when he was like this and a playful smile formed on her lips. He seemed happy and at rest. His shirtless chest moved as he readjusted his position and the smile manifested on his lips and his closed eyes moved as he dreamed. Gently she ran her hand over his shorts and she smiled.

If he was dreaming, she was going to try to influence those dreams.

Soft, slow touches to the outside of his shorts and his breathing changed ever so slightly. Another whisper of a touch against the fabric of his mesh shorts and she felt him stiffen slightly. She stopped touching and watched as his shorts shifted and changed as his dreams changed and the blood began to flow to his cock. She laughed despite herself at the sight. It looked like a snake manifesting itself out of thin air under the fabric of his clothes. As she watched and smiled, she felt a stirring within her. It started as a warm flush, almost a flutter in her chest. The warmth spread from her chest, down the length of her stomach were it radiated warmth between her legs. Her face became flushed as she realized, too late, that in trying to manipulate her lover's dreams, she was becoming increasingly turned on.

The blog post about blogging on my blog that nobody blogs

WTF is blogging?  I mean - what is it REALLY?

For some, it's basically their own personal forum for discussing ideas, products, services, bad ideas, and politics - while getting paid for it.

For the rest of us, it's basically an online diary for late-night missives about how we're lonely, depressed, horny, hungry, angry, or some other inane thing. And that's pretty okay.

We can't all be paid to whine online. JESUS I wish I was. I could just sit back, spout off about whatever the fuck I wanted and then just get paid for it! It would be GLORIOUS.  But... nobody reads this blog. I mean, at the height of its existence, I got 22 page views one day.

I'm not going to retire on 22 page views. Fuck, I can't even get a piece of gum for that.

Erotic Fiction Thursdays - By The Pool

Tom, formerly John, thinks he's dreaming. To prove he's very much awake - his new, mysterious rescuer shows him around the manor and introduces him to a new teammate in...

 Erotic Fiction Thursdays - By The Pool

    "You've died, Mr. McConnell." She smiled a perfect smile. "You are now Mr. Tom Redding. And you've been chosen for something special."
     That's what she had said to him three days ago. Since then - he hadn't been feeling apart of anything special. The drug she used to fake his death took some time work out of his system and he'd been on bed rest for two days. Today he was allowed to get up and walk around Hillcrest Manor. With Victoria as his guide. There was no way he could complain about that. Just looking at her almost made him ache with the fuzzy memories from the ordeal at the prison. He'd been given a pair of lightweight lenin pants and shirt to match. Apparently their location was warmer than his prison home of a few days ago.

   "Jesus." John, now Tom, said. "This place is huge."

   "Yes." Victoria responded with a smile. "Our benefactor has spent a great deal to see to it that we are well provisioned and well taken car of." Her loose, floral sundress flowed easily around her body and Tom tried to sneak a peak of what he was remembering of her from the prison. 

   "Our benefactor?" Tom said with a raised eyebrow. "And who might that be?"

   "All in good time, Mr. Redding." She pushed open another set of doors to brilliant sunlight and the warm, humid air hit them.

Let's Talk About SEX!

Sex...

Sex is the coolest thing ever. And I'm pretty well versed in cool shit. I've traveled all across the world, been in a war, got shot at, driven across the entire United States - like 5 times - and I was stabbed in the face by a pitchfork. What can I say? I like it rough?

Point is - I like sex.

It feels awesome to connect with someone else on such a personal level like that. But here's the strange bit - Out of all of our friends and family, my wife and I are seemingly the only ones who not only LIKE sex, but actively engage in the act on a fairly regular basis.

Erotic Fiction Thursdays - A Day At The Range

Two members of a covert government unit find each other on their day off… And it leads to an unexpected encounter.

A Day At The Range

Carrie jogged slowly down Range Road on the warm, August morning. This was part of her ‘long route’ when she needed to run and clear her head. Today was one of those days.
Being Labor Day weekend, the range would be empty and Range Road would, therefore, be without traffic and make her run even better. She jogged at a moderate pace, not wanting to push things too much, but not wanting to slack off either. She hated running, really, but sometimes it was the only way to get her head cleared out. She had been having a frustrating week to put it mildly and her pent up rage wasn't subsiding by sitting around the apartment so she decided to head out and see if she could sweat it out.
About a mile down range road she froze in mid stride and almost fell to the ditch. She pulled the earbud out of her ear and listened. "BOOM" came the noise again. It was clearly coming from the range and it was, by far, the loudest gun she had ever heard in her life.
"It has to be Tom." She said, shaking her head.

Erotic Fiction Thursdays - Accidentally In Bed

Two friends find themselves in bed together when plans change and their paths cross unintentionally

Accidentally In Bed

Carrie glared at the text message on her phone in frustration.
“Stuck at work. Have to cancel dinner”
“Mother fucker.” She tossed the phone aside.
She was expecting a night out, complete with dinner and sex. Now she was looking at a night in... by herself. Fresh out of the shower with her hair and makeup perfect, wearing her “I’m going to be seen naked” panties she flopped onto the couch next to her phone. She was pissed off and turned on - and that was not a good combination. It had been weeks since she had seen Nick. And when they had seen each other, he’d been distant and cold.
“Looks like whiskey and Netflix tonight.” She said to the empty house. “Why is it so hard to just get laid?” She stopped talking to herself and shot up from the couch when she heard the sliding door open in her kitchen and got up from the couch to investigate. Maybe Nick was just playing with her? She stopped in her tracks when, to her complete surprise, it was Tom. Despite looking tired and worn out - she couldn't help but see his broad shoulders and admire him from the back. He was, in fact, a very desirable man… and Standing before him in nothing but her "going out" panties and a fuzzy bathrobe made her think inappropriate thoughts as she watched him rummage through his bag on her kitchen table.
"Hi." She said startling him.
"Shit!" He said. "I didn't think you were home, Carrie." He turned to acknowledge her and pulled a double-take when he saw he clothes… or lack thereof. He quickly turned away.
"I see... so this is just your standard, run of the mill, home invasion thing? You know I don't have anything good to steal."

It's my first day

Hello. This blog is meant to be for me. Nobody else. I say that in the strange idea that someone, somewhere, will stumble upon this thing and actually read it.

This blog is my quiet space. This is the place I can come to be alone with my thoughts and in peace. This is the place I can talk about things that matter to me that, for one reason or another, I can't share with family and friends on normal social media.

Examples:
I can't openly talk about sex on Social Media due to my family being mostly super-religious.
I can't openly talk about drugs and drinking on Social Media due to wanting to remain employed.
I can't openly talk about the strange shit that runs through my brain because I don't really want to freak people the fuck out.

Aside from my wife and kids - I normally don't care about people's opinions and perceptions of me. Well, that's not true. Let's face it, we ALL actually care about what people think. If we didn't, there would be a lot less anxiety in the world. So we act in accordance to our own set of morals, values, and whatnots...

I'm going to talk about my love of coffee. I'm going to talk about my love of sex in all its forms... which will be vanilla to some and pearl-clutchingly scandalous to others depending on what you like. I'm going to talk about bourbon. Because I fucking love bourbon.

If these things sound like things you want to read - come on down and read along.

I will occasionally post erotic fiction - which I love to write.
I will occasionally post political rants - which I don't love to write, but which I do seem good AT writing.
I will talk about my occasionally crippling PTSD and the joys it brings.
I will talk about sex with my wife.
I will talk about masturbation and porn...

I'll basically talk about anything... So... yeah.


Welcome to my fucking blog. My private, alone-time, blog where I'll post my middle-aged missives.