Today is another first for me - rope bondage. I, until today, knew NOTHING about this. I've seen it. Never really given it much attention. But BlueSubmission (Twitter: @bluesubmission) has written up a very nice, informative piece - photos included - about it.
Blue's website is here: https://bluesubmission.wordpress.com/
And can be found on twitter here: https://twitter.com/bluesubmission
Rope Bondage
A Guest Post by BlueSubmission
Disclaimer: If you are thinking about trying rope bondage, do plenty of research, seek out the rope community where you live for workshops and advice, and always practice safely. Rope bondage is fun and sexy, but it can also be very dangerous.
....Even fatal.
My husband and I started playing with rope this past July, and we jumped head first into this whole new world that has changed us and our relationship forever. We’d always flirted with kinky play, some pink furry handcuffs, a riding crop bought to train the dog that never served its intended purpose, some role play and a remote controlled vibrator used in public, but we were mostly vanilla when it came to sex. After the first time he tied me to the coffee table, unable to move at all with a rope snuggled between my pussy lips right up against my throbbing clit, there was no going back for either of us.
Since that first scene, we’ve practiced several times a week, we started attending a monthly rope workshop held in our community as well as a monthly kink party with rope and other BDSM exhibitions, and this spring we will be attending a major kink conference where we hope to get into the dungeon and perform our own scene. The point I’m trying to make is that we are not experts and we haven’t been doing this very long, but we’ve done our due diligence to learn as much as possible and practice safe tying. There are many books and YouTube videos out there on rope bondage, but nothing is better than hands on learning under the watchful eye of some one who has more knowledge and experience.
Rope bondage can be anything from tying a partner’s hands and feet to the bedposts, to beautifully intricate patterns tied around the entire body in the Shibari style, to full suspensions that look effortless but are far from easy. Shibari means “to tie” in Japanese, and it originated in feudal Japan where iron was not readily available, so rope was used to restrain prisoners instead of handcuffs. As in most of what the Japanese do, much thought and purpose was put into the art of binding these prisoners, a level of respect was demonstrated by how they were tied. The art of Japanese rope bondage has transformed over the years, scenes of restraint and torture were widely featured in many theatrical plays in the late 1800’s, and eventually the practice was modified to be safely featured in popular adult films of the 20th century.
Being tied in rope is an amazing experience unlike anything I’ve felt before. I love the feeling of being constrained, almost like being in a tight bear hug, but Sir’s hands are moving over my skin, sometimes with feather light touches, sometimes its just the feeling of his breath, sometimes it’s a pinch or a tweak of a nipple. He moves all around me as I stand still, like a planet rotating around the sun, I am the center of his attention. The rope vibrates as its pulled against itself, and the sensation resonates throughout my entire body. For me, having my mobility taken away is a huge turn on, not being able to use my hands or move in any other sort of way instantly pushes me into a heightened state of arousal. Sometimes, after being tied for a while, I forget that my hands are bound, and I move to scratch my nose, and remember that I can’t. The removal of the rope causes blood to flow back into my limbs, making me suddenly very cold, sometimes to the point of shivering, so he makes sure that I have a warm robe nearby. My body takes time to adjust after being restrained, my limbs are sore, I have to ease them back into position. This moment is quite sexy as well, Sir massages my shoulders, murmuring for me to take it slow and easy, there is a lot of care taken on his part, which adds to the intimacy.
We started with floor ties, as most people do, because that is the easiest and safest way for a rigger to practice different knots and tensions and, as a bottom, I am able to learn the different feelings of being in rope. Sometimes my hand goes numb because the circulation is cut off, and it’s important to know how that feels and how it is different from pain associated with nerve damage. There are many different ways to execute a floor tie depending on the desired outcome. Does he want to quickly immobilize me and ravish me, taking from me what he needs? Fun fast floor ties are a way for Sir to render me helpless in a short period of time so that he can use me (with my pre-negotiated consent of course) for his own pleasure. The ropes are tied quickly, somewhat sloppily, and I am bound in a way so that whatever part of me he wants is easily accessible. He can toss me about, roll me on my side, use the rope as a handle to pull me onto him. This type of play is not for everyone, but it ticks a number of my boxes, and even though I might not get an orgasm out of it, I know that he’s got three or four planned for me in a future play session. It is something we can easily do on a weeknight and still have time to make dinner by a decent hour.
Most weekends, we will block off a few hours for a rope scene. He will use every bit of rope we have, tying me from head to toe. He usually starts with a chest harness, which is like a very pretty bra made out of rope that squishes my boobs in funny ways. Functionally, it can be used as a suspension point on the body if we want to do a partial or full suspension. The tightness of a chest harness feels amazing, I find myself taking deep breaths so I can feel the pressure of my ribs against the rope. Then he might tie a hip harness, similar to the chest harness, but it’s like a pair of rope panties. Sometimes he will practice a suspension harness, often used by rapellers, that can also function for full suspensions. Sometimes he will tie something pretty, accentuating my feminine curves, or he will loop the rope between my legs, placing a “happy knot” right on my clit, driving me to hump the air as he pulls and tightens the rest of his ropes. This is one of the reasons we use nylon rope, because it can be easily washed in the washing machine. He will find a way to immobilize my arms, sometimes behind my back in a Takate Kote (TK), or Box Tie, sometimes he will fasten them to my sides or tie them to a point on the ceiling. This is really where the creativity begins, there are endless ways to go from here. Perhaps, my favorite is predicament bondage, where two body parts are tied to each other so that there is slight movement allowed, meaning that in order to ease discomfort on one body part, I’ll have to increase pain or pressure on another part. He’s hog-tied my ankles to my hair, where I’m lying on my stomach with no use of my arms or hands. In order to relieve pressure on my neck, I have to arch my lower back and bring my feet closer to the back of my head. The lower back starts to get tired and relaxes slightly, pulling my hair and neck. An anal hook is a fantastic accessory to use for a predicament ties. He inserts the hook inside me and fastens a rope to the external loop. The sensation of the rope as it’s being pulled through the hook is incredible, it vibrates all the way inside my body. He will sometimes tie the rope to my hair, but most often he ties it to a hook in the ceiling and loops it back around to my ankles. In this position, the more I struggle against the bonds, the more sensation I get from the hook, which again, might not be for everyone, but for me it’s one of the sexiest feelings, eliciting a deluge of moans and sighs.
These sessions are some of my favorites, because as a woman, I enjoy a long build up before sex. It’s a guarantee of at least an hour of foreplay, teasing, soft touches, bites and nibbles, dirty words whispered in my ear, sometimes he will push himself into me for a few thrusts and withdraw, leaving me wanting. There is also the ever-coveted Subspace that these long sessions provide. Subspace occurs when chemicals and endorphins are released during extreme play causing an outer body experience where I feel like I’m floating, my brain doesn’t quite work properly, and physical pleasure is heightened, pain is diminished. The rope is vibrating all over my body, and I am a mess, dripping and greedy for more. When the sex finally happens, my orgasms are powerful, often leaving me gasping for breath with tears streaming down my face. When I finally come out of my haze, it sometimes takes hours for me to feel normal again. I often sit in my chair, snuggled in a blanket, a huge goofy grin on my face while Sir makes me a big dinner.
We have only recently started practicing full suspensions. We wanted to learn as much as possible before we started with this advanced technique. Many experts recommend at least six months of practice before starting full suspensions, and we would both agree that this is most certainly necessary. Suspensions are difficult physically for the bottom, and for the top, there are a lot more parts to pay attention to, making sure that the bottom is safe from harm. One of the first steps to doing a suspension is finding a safe hard point to tie from, and an eye-hook screwed into the ceiling is not safe. I’m not going to make any recommendations on how to install a hard point except to consult a licensed professional with knowledge in construction.
Our first official suspension was at a rope class hosted in our community, where Sir learned to tie a Swiss Seat hip harness and then the instructor showed him how to hoist me up in the air using several carabiners as a pulley system. The Swiss Seat is very comfortable and I was able to flip upside down Spiderman style and swing about. It was much like being a little kid on a swing set. After almost a month of more practice, we tried a more advanced suspension. Sir created a hard point between two trees, put me in a TK tie and gently hoisted me up, tying my left calf to my thigh, called Futomomo, and my right leg extended behind me to a tree. Having the pressure of my entire body only on my chest with my arms tied behind my back was very difficult. I felt strong and powerful, but at the same time it was extremely hard to take a full breath. I was only able to hold the position for about fifteen minutes before I needed to be released. Our most successful suspension to date combined a chest harness and a hip harness, attached so that I was on my back facing the sky, another Futomomo and my other leg extended into the air above me. It was very comfortable and I was able to stay up for over half an hour. Suspensions aren’t as sexy for us right now as many of the other ties we play around with, but with practice, I hope that some day we are able to combine sex and full suspension. Getting a proper hard point installed in our bedroom will be a great first step!
All of the positive feelings generated by the release of endorphins come with a price. Anyone dabbling in rope bondage should be prepared for subdrop, which occurs when the body is depleted of all of these feel-good chemicals resulting in a sort of depressive state. I can sometimes get teary and moody up to a few days afterwards. Again, subdrop will be different for everyone and sometimes even non-existent. Proper aftercare helps to alleviate any mood changes. Most often, aftercare for me involves getting warm again and eating a big meal followed by some snuggles, but it can also involve eating chocolate or taking a long hot shower depending on the intensity of the scene.
Rope bondage can be incredibly beautiful and it can be painful in the most delicious way. Being bound in rope makes me feel utterly constricted, holding me down to the earth, and it allows me to fly and float. Improving my skills and strength in order to be a better bottom has also remarkably improved my body and my health. It has fostered a deeper connection between my husband and I, both physically and emotionally, and it has opened my mind to exploring my own needs and desires. I can only imagine where it will take us in the future!
Recommended Resources:
ProudtoBeKinky and the Proud to Be Kinky Podcast
The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up and Better Bondage for Every Body by Evie Vane
The Essence of Shibari by Shin Nawakiri
Shibari You Can Use by Lee Harrington
RemedialRopes.com
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