Whatever drugs were in Todd’s system weren’t making him twitchy - that would be the understatement of the year. He was positively vibrating with whatever the hell was coursing through his veins. Everything was bright and loud. Some people and things seemed to move in slow-motion while others, for no reason Todd could come up with, seemed to move in fast-forward. To put it bluntly - Todd was tripping his balls off.
He wasn’t sure of the day. He damn sure wasn’t sure of what time it was. And there was a nagging sense in the back of his brain that told him he wasn’t in Ohio anymore. The fact the signs weren’t written in English helped to back this last theory up. Well, that and the fact that everyone around him was shorter than him and lacked that clearly midwestern American look.
“Holy shit, I’ve been kidnapped.” He blurted.
“What?” Came a barking laugh from over his shoulder. Todd jumped at the sound. The voice was familiar, yet strange all at the same time. He turned to see a woman with bright, white hair that had been cropped short against her head. Her eyes were neon green and she had a tattoo running up her neck that coiled around her right ear.
“I… uh…” Sweat poured down his body in the afternoon heat. “Where the fuck am I?” He finally managed.
“Finally coming down?” She asked. Again, Todd was confused by the familiar yet unfamiliar sound of this woman’s voice.
“I don’t know.” Todd said. His throat was suddenly dry. Not just dry… it felt like he’d swallowed a gallon of cat litter and then chased it with a beach. “Jesus…”
“Dry mouth?”
“Yes.” He choked.
“Drink this.” She handed him a small flask-sized object. “You’ll feel better.”
“I…” He looked wearily at the object and then the woman offering it. Then he thought ‘fuck it’ and drained the liquid. He felt better instantly. He felt, and thought he could even HEAR, his body soak up the liquid and end his suffering. “What the hell is in this?” He looked at it and offered it back to the woman.
“Counter-agent, rehydrator, blah, blah, blah…” She took the flask-thing and put it back in her pocket.
“Cool.” Todd’s brain cleared in an instant. Nobody was moving in the wrong time frame anymore and he could finally get a bearing on things. “So… How did I end up in India?”
“Your memories will come back in about ten minutes or so.” The lady said. “But I can give you the five-cent version if you’d like.” She paused. “Again.”
“Please.” Todd said.
“Well,” she started and then took a large breath. “Met you at a party in Greenville, Ohio. You said you were bored, we drank a lot, and you said you wanted to get away.”
“So you drugged me and took me to India?”
“Drugged you?!” She laughed. “I’m not that kind of girl. You did this to yourself. Again.”
“Again?”
“Yep. Every time we fly you insist.” She let out a small laugh. “And then we have this conversation.”
“So, we’ve done this often?” He asked skeptically.
“Todd, we’ve been traveling for about nine months now.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Nine. Months.” She said.
“How is that possible?”
“Well, time passes, we travel… it’s really that simple.”
“And I know you.”
“You know me.” She smiled. “And I love you, Todd. But we seriously need to work on this.”
“Work on what?”
“The part where you come down from the d’jar and I have to explain to you all of this instead of letting your brain just catch up.”
“Well, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never been to India before and…”
“We’ve been to India like six times, Todd. My ship is here.”
“Six times?”
“Yep.”
“How have I been here six times and… wait, ship?”
“Yes. Again.”
He looked at her and her neon green eyes blinked at him. It was a long, stretched out minute before Todd’s brain caught up with his eyes. She had blinked vertically. Her eyes had fucking blinked VERTICALLY.
“Oh my god.” He rasped suddenly feeling very nervous. “I have to… I have…” He stopped and stared at her. "Oh my god I've been abducted!" His eyes widened. "Have you probed me? Did you probe me? Why do you always probe people!?"
“Three. Two. One.” She said looking at her watch.
“Oh my god! I HAVE TO GET…” He stopped. His expression changed like someone flipped a switch. In his mind a door opened and a sea of memories rushed into his brain. His hands clutched his head as the sudden resurgence of memories threatened to make him throw up all over the place. He remembered her. He remembered everything. She was Chianna. She was a Spreggen. They were married now for two months and he’d been in outer-space. A lot.
His eyes bugged for a second and then became calm pools of blue. The sea of pedestrians that had moved away from him all stopped and stared in awe as his frantic tone and pace stopped in one, swift second. “Oh.” he said. “Uh, hey, babe.”
“There he is!” She smiled and kissed his forehead.
“Sorry.”
“It’s cool.” She said and nodded to the inbound train. “You’re just in time.”
“You’ve got to stop letting me take that shit.”
“You hate space travel. What am I supposed to do? Let you throw up all over the ship? No fucking way, man.”
“I’m sorry.” He said again.
“If I didn’t love you, it’d be different. But you’re just so fucking adorable every time. You always think you’ve been abducted by an alien who is all about probing your ass.”
“Well…”
“And you like it when I do that, Mr. Holier than thou.” She smirked. “Now, let’s get on this train. It’s a long way to go back to Greenville and your mom is expecting us Wednesday.”
“I remember.” Todd said with a smile and kissed her.
“Good.” She smiled and winked at him with her vertical eyelids. “You’re lucky you’re cute, earth-man.”
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