Rope Bondage - A Guest Post by BlueSubmission

Today is another first for me - rope bondage. I, until today, knew NOTHING about this. I've seen it. Never really given it much attention. But BlueSubmission (Twitter: @bluesubmission) has written up a very nice, informative piece - photos included - about it.

Blue's website is here: https://bluesubmission.wordpress.com/

And can be found on twitter here: https://twitter.com/bluesubmission

Rope Bondage

A Guest Post by BlueSubmission

Disclaimer: If you are thinking about trying rope bondage, do plenty of research, seek out the rope community where you live for workshops and advice, and always practice safely. Rope bondage is fun and sexy, but it can also be very dangerous.

....Even fatal.

A day in the life of a 24/7 D/s couple - A Guest Post by Nikki

Today's guest post is something I know literally NOTHING about - so I am very excited for it.

Our guest poster is Nikki (@loveisafetish on Twitter)

Nikki is a sub, a parent and an artist. She loves her family, music, sex and the color pink.

A day in the life of a 24/7 D/s couple

A Guest Post by Nikki 

It is five o'clock in the morning and I wake up gagged and restrained to the bed, ready to drag my heavy chains to the kitchen to start breakfast for my Dom, like any good sub does.

Discovering Porn...

Fun story - I know a "coed" in THIS one
We went skinny-dipping in Switzerland in 1996

While growing up, my dad had a serious collection of Playboy magazines in the house. I have no doubt that my dad did not, in fact, read it for the articles.

He had a pretty nice collection of nude women stretching from the mid-80s through the mid to late 90s. And through my adolescence I ruined at least one or two of those magazines with my... uh... attention. We'll go with that. Yep. Attention.

Younger than that, however, I remember being at my friend's house and sneaking in and taking his dad's hidden copy or two of Hustler and reading the letters in it. Then running off to the bathroom to measure who had the biggest erection. Not together... one at a time with a ruler. Like civilized kids in rural America. These are my first memories of sex and nudity.

Then came the internet.

Jesus Christ...

Dr. Bourbon's Tips For Getting Laid...

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from Twitter User @yodelingsnake

He asks:

Dear Doctor Bourbon,

I struggle with interpreting cues on when it's appropriate to "make the move" on my wife, because I'm socially inept. I'm good at sex! But I don't always get the timing right... Do you have any advice?

Signed,
@YodelingSnake

Dear Mr. Snake,

Dr. Bourbon and The Cleaning Lady

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from the ANONYMOUS "Mommy Issues" via a Twitter DM.

Dear esteemed Dr Bourbon,

I've got mommy issues. I'm pushing 40 and my mother won't let me be a goddamned adult. She goes out of her way to make excuses to come into my house and clean it.
Now, before you go getting all "ooh free cleaning services" know this: my house is clean. It's just not clean ENOUGH. My floors can be mopped, shelves dusted and beds made and she will RE CLEAN over me. I've told her to stop.
My husband has told her to stop. Our small children have told her to stop. But SHE. NEVER. STOPS.

Help a girl out, Dr. B.

love and kisses
"Mommy Issues"

Dear "Mommy Issues,"

Triathlon Training - A Guest Post by Matt Herald

Matt Harold is our guest author today.

He is sharing his basics on training to run a triathlon - something I will most likely never do.
You can find Matt on Twitter at @MattHerald

Self described as:

Beer drinker, Bourbon lover, Geocacher, Runner, Triathlete, Father of 3, Husband of 1, Keeper of ALL!

Triathlon Training

A Guest Post by Matt Herald

  Most people think of triathlon and instantly count themselves out.  Don’t worry, I used to do it, too.  But now, I am a triathlete.  Not only do I do triathlons, but I train so that I can be better at them.  And the craziest thing of all is that I enjoy it!  I enjoy the races, the competition, the mental preparation, the physical strain, and the most important part: crossing the finish line!  So what’s it take to train for a triathlon?  Well, it may not be as much as you think.  So here’s a peak into my triathlon training.

Dr. Bourbon On Hookers and Bourbon

Today in Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon our question comes from "Brian" via Twitter. 

Brian writes:

Dear Doctor B,
I enjoy coffee, and sex is pretty great, but I haven't found a bourbon I like yet. What do you recommend I try first?

-Brian (@briancebuhl)

Dear Brian,

Bourbon is best enjoyed naked. Just throwing that out there before we get started...

It's the nectar of the gods. Enjoyed by kings and paupers alike. Don't listen to the Jack Sparrow wannabes out there that are "Oh, Rum is sooo good." Those assholes don't know what's good for them... That's why they all have scurvy and STDs.

Bourbon on the other hand...

Bourbon is like prostitution. You get what you pay for. Do you want to have a good night, but feel rather awful and potentially dirty in the morning? Then $10 will do it for ya!

Dr. Bourbon And The Tale of The Shorn Scrotum

Today we open a new chapter - Bad Advice with Dr. Bourbon.

Our first question comes from "Sir Raven" via Twitter. 

Sir Raven writes:

Dear Dr BS
Every time I shave completely bare I think, "This feel awesome! Why don't I do this more often?"
Then Day 2 rolls around and it's a bumpy, rashy mess of regrowth down there. Seriously I get like one day of smooth fun and then a week of itching and pimply ingrown hairs.

Any advice? 😫😫😫
Raven (@QuothSirRaven)

Raven,

Thanks for reaching out.

Boy do I know what you mean. Your question reminds me of a time back in the army - sometime in 2003 - when I was in the desert and sweating my balls off.

I thought to myself: "Man, this manly mane of hair surrounding my junk is hot and sweaty... and smells like balls. I bet if I shaved it all off, it would be a cool, refreshing change of scenery for a while."

Here Kitty Kitty - A Guest Post by Anna O'Keefe

Today's guest post is Anna O'Keefe

You can follow her on Twitter here: @ReneeHawk1956

"The Trouble With Mountain Faeries" is a collection of her words in short story format that has been published in an anthology called "Intersections" by the Frederick Writers Salon and can be purchased through Amazon.

She also writes blog posts for the online publication, Luna Station. A female centric sifi, fantasy, alternative worlds magazine.

Her current WIP is a novel about a town where no one dies they just disappear.

From the author:
"I am a girl who loves words. I love reading them and I love writing them. I truly get excited when I string a bunch of words together that make sense enough to tell a story."

Here Kitty Kitty

One woman's life long love of the classic 1972 XK-E Jaguar

A Guest Post by Anna O'Keefe

I paused to look through the floor to ceiling glass wall, at the entrance to the dealership. Daring a glance back at the turntable that slowly revolved with the most incredible thing I had ever seen. So red and shiny it nearly took my breath away. With that deep black convertible top made this car perfect and I shivered to be so close. Sleek, sophisticated, and way beyond me in every aspect. The 1972 XK-E Jaguar had captured my heart. I would have said my Kitty was sexy if I had known what sexy was at the time. I had talked about nothing else for months.

My friends had long since stopped trying to  understand this obsession. Sure, being obsessed about boys, clothes, and how much we weighed but being over the edge about a car was just crazy. I disregarded their protests. Even having no money and not knowing how to drive were just small matters and easily brushed aside. More than getting my ears pierced, more than a push up bra,
more than red nail polish, even more being allowed out past 10 pm. I simply longed for the
XK-E, my Kitty.

I sighed. Here I was barely 16 and extremely naive even in a world without cell phones and internet and head over heels in love. I was just moments away from realizing my deepest
desire. I opened the double doors and strolled in, book bag hiked on my shoulder, full of all the
courage I didn't think I possessed.

Stopping at the first occupied desk and in my practiced adult voice, I pointed, “I want to speak to someone about that XK-E.”

The man at the desk looked up from his racing form and peered over the top rim of his eye glasses. An expression wavering between irritation and boredom.

“What?”

The One Upper...

We all know one... Hell, some of you reading this might BE one.

The person who, no matter what you've said or done, has done it better, stronger, harder, faster, with more struggle than you can possibly imagine!!!  And they'll tell you about it.

I work with one of these people... two actually. And to see them interact with one another is a thing of beauty. It's a veritable plethora of passive aggressive one-upsmanship on a scale that would make most people wet themselves. To hear the two of them talk, you'd assume that they have the greatest, most blessed lives ever and simultaneously have dealt with more struggles, woes, and personal demons than you could ever have.

I'd really like to punch them both.

They do not talk with anyone in an effort to talk to learn something about that person - they talk so they can talk about themselves and their lives.

I'm 40 years old. I spent 10 years in the army Infantry. I've done OCR (Obstacle Course Races). I have kids. I've done literally YEARS of damage to my knees and legs. And some days, like today, they feel like I've been jumped by Tonya Harding in my sleep... It literally hurts me to stand today. And sit... And, to top it all off, I've had several fucked up dreams this week from my PTSD...  So, to have my pain and my tired, bags under the eyes, look get blown off with "You should try living in my shoes"... I lost it.

I looked at this person and remained silent. I just nodded while they went on and on about how bad they had it and how they were tired from getting up early for a meeting with the Bank Manager or some equally bullshit thing...

What I WANTED to say was this. "Yes, asshole, I would gladly trade you places. Then, when you wake up at 5am with your knees aching and your mind plagued with the visions of burning children, you might, for one instance in your padded, bullshit life, know what true pain is. Then maybe you'll shut the fuck up instead of running your cock-holster non stop and annoying the ever loving shit out of me and everyone else. Nobody here is on easy street, except maybe you. So, when you're reeling over how bad it is that this year you ONLY got to go on a 3 week Alaskan cruise and Europe twice, you might realize that the rest of us are truly fucked. Maybe, just MAYBE you'd gain some fucking perspective on what a piece of shit you really are."

I fucking hate people who just HAVE to be better than you - or worse. The people who feel compelled to one-up every good or bad thing that's ever happened.

Seriously - get fucked.

Don't be this person. If someone is telling you something - try to avoid responding with any story of your own that has the effect of "your story is cute, but mine is better." We're all guilty of it. Even me - and I hate myself when I do it.... but right now, I am in pain. And the last thing I need is someone who biggest problem in life is their lack of European vacations telling me how bad they've got it.